Adoption Takes a Community Image

Adoption Takes a Community

“Every child deserves a champion — an adult who will never give up on them, who understands the power of connection, and insists that they become the best they can possibly be.” — Rita Pierson, professional educator

Kristi wanted to be that person for a child for so long.

“I went through three and a half years of infertility treatments, including about eleven different procedures and several IVFs.”

Eventually, Kristi came to terms with the fact that she wouldn’t be able to have a biological child. Unfortunately, her then husband couldn’t accept it and the couple ended up divorcing.

While still grieving the loss of her marriage, Kristi made the decision that what she wanted most in the world was to be a mom and provide a loving home for a child who needed one. So she began her adoption journey.

“I connected with Laurie at LCFS and she was amazing. Not only did she give me all the necessary steps, but she also connected on the human side of it.”

LCFS assisted Kristi with her home study preparation, writing her profile, advice on communicating with expectant parents and even talking to her about what it would mean to adopt transracially.

“Laurie talked to me extensively about what it would mean to adopt a child of another race, but I felt ready for it due to my experience with my dance school and the diverse community around me.”

Kristi began her search to connect with an expectant mother by placing her adoption profile on a number of Facebook adoption sites. After six weeks of sharing her profile online, Kristi connected with Carmen (not her real name).

“Carmen shared with me that she never thought she’d place her daughter with a single white woman, but that it felt right. I have a diverse life and she found that important. So shortly after we talked, Carmen texted and said ‘you’re it.’”

When it was time for Carmen to give birth, Kristi wasn’t sure what to expect due to COVID regulations at the hospital. Thankfully, she was able to be in the room when her daughter Ayla was born.

“With Carmen’s permission, I got to do all the firsts with Ayla, including being the first one to hold her. She graciously allowed me all those experiences. I love my daughter’s birth mom because she made me a mother.”

Kristi was even able to stay in the hospital room with Carmen and Ayla until they were both released.

Throughout Kristi’s adoption journey and everyday life, she’s been blessed with an amazing circle of support — from help caring for Ayla during those first weeks to a house filled with gifts and supplies.

“I couldn’t have done this without my village. Technically, I’m a single mom, but I’ve never felt alone thanks to my community.”

That community includes people of color whom Kristi has surrounded her daughter with as chosen grandmothers, aunties and  cousins. “My daughter lives in a world of color. Her identity is important.”

LCFS also remains a part of Kristi’s community through her continued contact with Laurie. “She cared about my journey, my story and even about Ayla’s birth mother who she didn’t even know.”

Today, Ayla is a happy 1-year-old and Kristi is enjoying being her mom and champion.

“I hope she is raised with a diverse life and develops a lot of resiliency. I want her to feel loved and whole because she’s my world.”